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About Varied / Hobbyist Member SirenaFemale/Unknown Recent Activity
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Dear child,

I write this to promise
I won't let you suffer
I won't selfishly bring you into this world
My world

Dear child,

I think of you when I see a baby
Smiling and laughing
While they hold their mommy's hand

Dear child,

It's not that I wouldn't love you
Or that I don't have anything to offer
I just am not mature or healthy enough
I just don't want you to be like me

Dear child,

I know you'd be beautiful
And bring much happiness
But I can't bare to think
You'd be like me
Crying, dreaming of death
Crying, hating yourself
Crying, stuck in a dream
Feeling alone
in a crowded room

Dear child,

I still will think of you
When I look into children's eyes
When I see clothes, music, movies
Places we could have shared
But it's for your best for
I am struggling
Into this struggle
I chose not to bring you
down down far down
up up way up
sick of this 
just a matter of time
before the hell and depression ends
before dreams and happiness shoot me up in the sky
so high i disappear
nothing is clear
pictures of happy smiles
pictures of families
while i sit here
smile and nod
on the inside
i scream
on the inside
i die
i feel myself shaking
on the inside
i look on and smile
tiny meaningless connections
compliments, laughter, jokes
frustration, with them, with myself
edges

i feel myself getting closer
driving, on this road
i realize
i am alone
maybe just maybe
if i watch
i'll get closer

i feel myself slip away
slowly eaten away by
anger, distrust, cynism
if i push far enough away
can i finally
let go

i feel myself pushing myself to
let go
of
love, passion, inspiration, struggles, challenges,
caring, empathy, curiosity, longing, family, dreams
could i let them float away enough so
i can no longer be me
like those before me
finally
isolated


let go
looking out
for ourselves
all alone
no one else
flesh and blood
sometimes not even that
all alone
no one else
scream and shout
no one hears
only destruction
falling pieces
from the sky
black and grey
reaching out
running out
looking out
for a way
tired of this
war
tired of these
bombs
so afraid, so afraid
how could such a rose
be so painful
to hold
full of thorns
is it worth it
am i worth it
looking out
could i do it?
could i stay?
or should i go?
no more pain
golden rule
i can't follow
run away
look away
maybe this time...
looking out...
all alone...
walk alone...
am i alone?
down down far down
up up way up
sick of this 
just a matter of time
before the hell and depression ends
before dreams and happiness shoot me up in the sky
so high i disappear
nothing is clear
pictures of happy smiles
pictures of families
while i sit here
smile and nod
on the inside
i scream
on the inside
i die

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hecatenyxx
Sirena
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
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:iconirrevocablefate:
IrrevocableFate Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2014   Writer
Thank you ever so much for the favorite. :thanks:
Reply
:iconephemeral-d:
ephemeral-d Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconrainbowsheepplz:thanks:iconrainbowsheep2:
Reply
:iconfrancoclun:
francoclun Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Many thanks for adding my drawing to your :+fav: :D
Reply
:iconhecatenyxx:
hecatenyxx Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
you're welcome :)
Reply
:iconthe-red-tower:
The-Red-Tower Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the new fave!
Reply
:iconkawaiicherryblossom:
KawaiiCherryBlossom Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for the watch! : D
Reply
:iconthe-red-tower:
The-Red-Tower Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the watch! Oh and the :iconlamaplz:
Reply
:iconcoffeelovescandycorn:
COFFEElovesCANDYCORN Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks for the fave
Reply
:iconmarxsdesign:
marxsdesign Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012
obrigado pelo favorito
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:iconhecatenyxx:
hecatenyxx Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
de nada :)

e voce muito talentoso!
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